How to date in Charlotte when you’re not drinking
It’s still cuffing season, and love is officially in the air.
For those who have chosen to cut back on their alcohol intake or quit drinking completely for whatever reason, dating without drinking can be a nerve-wracking undertaking. After all, nine times out of 10, isn’t the first date suggestion going out for a drink?
So how do you date and meet new people without America’s favorite social elixir?
Here are five tips for dating (and enjoying it) without alcohol:
Decide what you feel comfortable telling your dates about your drinking status.
If you’re using dating apps to meet people, you can edit your settings on several of them to share whether or not you drink and even filter out people based on their substance use.
For example, on Bumble, you have the option to answer the question on your profile of “do you drink?” with “socially” “never” “frequently” or “sober.” You also have the option to leave that information off of your profile altogether.
You can also let a potential date know prior to meeting that you don’t drink, or even tell them on the date. When you tell them is ultimately your decision, but it’s important to determine the timing of the conversation and how much you’ll disclose in advance so that you feel comfortable and establish a mutual understanding from the beginning with your date.
Let your friends know you’re interested in being set up.
Meeting someone through a friend is great because it’s essentially the equivalent of your date coming with an endorsement from someone you know and trust. Your friend also knows you and your interests, so they’re less likely to connect you with someone who isn’t a fit.
Tell your friends you’re available and interested in being set up with someone who they know will be comfortable with your relationship to alcohol.
Suggest activity-based dates instead of bars or breweries.
Rather than seeing not drinking as a limiting factor in your dating life, see it as an opportunity to get more creative with your date ideas.
Instead of going out for cocktails, identify some of your common interests and suggest an activity where alcohol isn’t the focus, such as a walk on the greenway or ice skating at the U.S. National Whitewater Center. For more alcohol-free date ideas, check out this list on QC Nerve.
Scope out the menu beforehand.
The list of Charlotte spots that offer non-alcoholic beverages is growing, so If you do decide you’re comfortable going out for drinks, check out the menu of where you’re going in advance or suggest a restaurant you know offers alcohol-free cocktails. For recommendations, check out our list of 11 alcohol-free beverages to try in Charlotte.
Remember, most people don’t care what’s in your glass.
Dating is about finding a partner who adds to your life and supports who you are, rather than changing yourself to fit someone else’s expectations of you. If you’re preoccupied thinking about whether your date will judge you for not drinking, you won’t be able to determine if they’re the kind of person you want to date.
The good news is, I’ve learned from experience that most people don’t care about whether you drink or not, so don’t be afraid to be yourself. The person who is right for you won’t care what’s in your glass.
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