Here’s how to navigate Thanksgiving and the rest of the holidays alcohol-free
Editor’s note: Molly Ruggere is an alcohol freedom coach, founder of an alcohol-free social club called Counterculture Club and a non-drinker who has personally done the holiday seasons sober for many years. Her goal is to help people lose their desire to drink alcohol so they can feel comfortable around it in any social situation.
In our culture, the holidays and alcohol often go hand-in-hand. With the hard apple cider at Thanksgiving, spiked eggnog at the work holiday party, cocktails at the neighborhood gift exchange, Manischewitz wine at the family Hanukkah dinner and the champagne toasts on New Year’s Eve, it can be hard to find an event this season where alcohol isn’t present.
For someone who’s decided to take a break from alcohol for whatever reason, the drinking surrounding the holidays can make the season feel daunting, and it may even seem easier to skip the festivities altogether rather than brave the party circuit sober.
This time of year, I often get questions about how to survive the holiday season alcohol-free and have fun while doing it. So I’ve put together a few of my best tips that I recommend to anyone doing the holidays alcohol-free so they can not only stay sober, but also enjoy the festivities without the hangover.
B.Y.O.B (beverage)
There are so many more non-alcoholic drink options available now that weren’t on the market just a few years ago. Some of my favorites include: Updog Kombucha, Athletic Brewing’s craft non-alcoholic beers, Ritual Zero Proof Non-Alcoholic Spirits, Kin Euphorics adaptogenic mocktails, Grüvi Alcohol-Free Dry Secco, or even just seltzer with a splash of juice.
If you bring your own adult non-alcoholic beverage to your next holiday gathering, you’ll guarantee you have something in your hand that’s delicious to drink, you’ll be less likely to be offered something alcoholic and you’ll feel more included in the group. Often just having a drink in your hand, whether it’s alcoholic or not, has a placebo effect that can feel relaxing in social settings.
Set boundaries
Let your family and friends know in advance before a holiday social event that you won’t be drinking, then determine your reply for if someone offers you a drink. Advanced planning and conversations ahead of time can relieve any pressure on the day of the event and keep you resolved in your decision.
If you leave it up to willpower or tell yourself whether or not you’ll drink will be a game-time decision, your brain will be more likely to resort to old habits.
Find a sober friend
Reach out to a friend who is doing the holidays alcohol-free too and make a plan to text or call each other if you need support. Or join an alcohol-free community online if you don’t yet have sober friends.
You may feel isolated at the holiday gathering if you’re the only one not drinking, but there are people all over the country doing the same thing. Support helps, and you don’t have to do this alone.
Manage your mind
Not only are you in control of whether or not you drink, you’re also in control of your own thoughts about drinking. Choose a thought about the event, or think about something you’ll do hangover free afterward that makes you feel excited and empowered. Visualize yourself having fun at the party, enjoying your favorite snacks, unwinding in a bath after the event or getting up early for a workout class the next day since you won’t be hungover.
Channel your inner child
What did you love about the holidays before you started drinking? Was it sampling each kind of pie? Helping your mom cook the Christmas dinner? Watching “Home Alone”? Focusing on all the alcohol-free memories of the holidays you enjoy and planning activities with friends that don’t involve drinking will give you something to look forward to and show yourself all the fun you can still have sober.
Have an exit strategy
Drive yourself to the event if possible, or make a plan to excuse yourself early if you’re staying somewhere overnight. This way if it does get to a point where you feel uncomfortable, you can leave at any time. Sometimes just knowing you have a way out can ease nerves.
Take care of yourself first
You know yourself better than anyone else and self-care isn’t selfish, so if you need to skip a holiday party or two to catch up on sleep or you don’t feel comfortable attending an event you know will be especially boozy, it’s OK to stay home. You may feel like you’re letting others down by staying in, but the people who respect you and your boundaries will want you to do what is best for your own mental and physical health.
If you have never done the holidays without alcohol as an adult, you may be tempted to wait until next year to take a break as your New Year’s resolution. But not only is doing the holiday season alcohol-free possible, it can be a lot of fun if you have the right mindset and tools in place. Why wait to make a choice if you think it could benefit you and your health now?
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