The Return of the Black Family Reunion

The photograph feeds on Facebook and Instagram of smiling and hugging Black faces at family reunions have been sparse since the summer of 2020. That is why I call summer 2022 “the big comeback!”

Still, I could not ignore the tingling feeling all over as I drove the 225 miles from Durham to Asheville, North Carolina. You know, the excitement “tingle” of seeing extended family for the first time since our 2019 family reunion and the stomach ache of common sense. “Why go around all these people during COVID!”

I arrived at the hotel purposefully late that Friday night in July. The main gathering events were Saturday and Sunday, and they were outside. Friday night’s event was at a community center, inside. I was not quite ready to hug, even wearing a mask.

“Hey cuz! Look, there’s Leoneda!” said Cousin Monica Houston, who traveled from the suburbs of Dayton, Ohio.

About a dozen cousins were in the hotel restaurant, with a view of the hotel entrance. They were the perfect greeting committee to remind a hesitant family reunion-goer why she needed family love this time of year.

Black folks and family reunions go way back, back to Emancipation. Our history tells a story of how former enslaved family members spent their lives looking for each other. My Roland family can trace our ancestors back 11 generations.

While my cousins from the Asheville crew got the fish fryin’, grill burnin’ and music playin’, my eyes circled the outdoor picnic shelter at Carrier Park. They were not hard to spot in those bright blue t-shirts that read, “2022 Roland Family Reunion – Back Together Again – Asheville, NC.”

I could not believe my eyes. Is that my fourth cousin, Noah Lytle? He was just a kid, four inches shorter, when I saw him at the last family reunion. It was time to pull out the cell phone to show him a picture of himself.

“It’s just crazy to see how much I’ve grown up in three years,” said Lytle, a recent high school graduate. “When you’re gone for three years, anything can happen.”

He is correct. My hesitation to attend this year’s reunion was because of the pandemic, but it was also because of sadness. My mother would not be here to fling her arms around my neck. Saundra Jean Roland Inge died in 2020 of pancreatic cancer.

According to emails, phone calls and other notices, 22 family members and extended family members died since our 2019 reunion. Another face missing was fourth cousin, Sandy Mujica, who lived right outside Asheville. She had several ailments, and then sepsis set in, and then COVID-19.

“I’m trying to recover from that,” said Vickie Hemphill, Mujica’s mother, as she shared a meal with her other children and grandchildren. “Yes, it’s always good to see everybody; I love all of ya’ll.”

Hemphill is usually full of kind words and smiles during family reunion time. This time, she was more subdued.

During the peak months of the pandemic, it was especially hard for many African Americans. We were getting sick and dying of COVID at a disproportionately higher rate than whites. And then we were told not to gather at the funerals of loved ones, because those events had turned into “super-spreaders” of the contagious disease. So when were we going to see each other?

Sarah Roland Weston Hart is the chief organizer of the Roland Family Reunion. This is our 33rd event.

“Everybody I think is so happy and it’s just so good to see everybody,” said Hart.

But Hart, who recently turned 83-years-old, said a lot of people chose not to come this year because of concerns about the rise in COVID.

“They would not come because of that and others had sickness or something,” said Hart. “But they were excited about it too!”

The largest Roland Family Reunion was in the late 1980s when 93 people attended the signature banquet. Hart says only about 50 people registered for this year’s reunion.

The three year gap between family reunions helped create chatter about when we would meet again. Was it time to switch from annual reunions to every other year? Family members said it was hard to plan this year and get kin to confirm their attendance, so a gap year might result in a bigger, better reunion. I have a feeling the Rolands will be meeting again in 2023.

Leoneda Inge is WUNC’s race and southern culture reporter, the first public radio journalist in the South to hold such a position. She also is co-host of the podcast Tested and host of the special podcast series, PAULI. Leoneda is the recipient of many awards from AP, RTDNA and NABJ. She is a graduate of Florida A&M University and Columbia University with reporting fellowships in Berlin and Tokyo. Leoneda lives in Durham, North Carolina.

This story was originally published August 15, 2022 at 9:00 AM.