‘She was my best friend.’ How a singer tapped into the loss of her dog for her new album
The grief of losing a beloved pet is almost universal. Alicia Bognanno’s fourth album under the band name Bully taps into that relatable loss — the death of a pet who’s been your constant, your rock, your closest ally for years.
“I’ve always connected with dogs a little better than I have with people,” explains Nashville’s Bognanno. “There was an unconditional love and acceptance that I didn’t really find through people, especially when I was a kid. I had a difficult time in school. I felt like I was failing all the time, but unintentionally. I realize now as an adult that’s why I was so latched on to dogs.”
While her family didn’t own a dog, Bognanno was definitely a “dog person.”
“I was obsessed with them. I had dog posters on my wall. I’d cut pictures out of magazines. I had dog folders in school,” she recalls. “When I would stay with my aunt, I would sleep in the dog bed. I waited my whole life to get Mezzi. I got her as soon as I got out of the dorms.”
On her new album “Lucky For You,” songs like “A Wonderful Life” and “Days Move Slow” finds Bognanno describing the funk she fell into after losing Mezzi. On the former she sings of waking up and realizing that her companion, who was still around in her dreams, is no longer at the foot of the bed. On the latter she tries to will herself out of the “black hole” of grief.
You’ll be able to hear her music Friday night in Charlotte, where she will perform at Neighborhood Theatre as part of day one of Queen City Jam Sessions.
Speaking again of her dog, Bognanno says, “We grew up together. We shared pivotal points in my life from age 19 to 32. Mezzi came everywhere with me. Having her come to studios with me and record, she was the one constant I had throughout that 13 years of my life. She was my best friend.”
At first Bognanno couldn’t write about it.
“It was the worst. I was dreading doing it without her. I had put off writing for a few weeks. I didn’t feel like there was much I could do. I had not written a song without Mezzi right next to me. Even on (the opening track) ‘All I Do’ there’s a voice clip where I’m talking to her. I was recording vocals and petting her head.”
Writing ‘a love letter’
She wrote “A Wonderful Life” and “Days Move Slow” in the same day and that helped define the album’s direction.
“I wiped out all my other ideas I had for the record before her death. I’d known it was only going to be about her. It became a love letter,” she says, as her current 75-pound foster dog Bear and her smaller dog Papa frolic in the background. “Papa was a foster that I adopted. Papa was basically Mezzi’s dog.”
“Lucky For You” is Bully’s most radio-friendly record yet.
It’s still buzzes with Bognanno’s distorted guitars and raspy wail, but there’s more stylistic variety too.
“How Will I Know” is a rock earworm. “Hard To Love” is a weird heavy dirge and declaration rolled into one. “All This Noise” closes the album with a punky feminist rant on the state of American politics, which is particularly powerful considering her home state of Tennessee is one of the most controversial.
To help expand Bully’s scope, Bognanno — a sound engineer who once interned with Steve Albini and previously produced Bully’s output herself — recruited producer JT Daly (a Grammy nominee for his work with K. Flay).
“I’m so glad I met JT. I think I’ll be friends with him for the rest of my life,” she says. “I went to the park just to hang out with him and his kid the other day.”
She admittedly wasn’t always so open to another’s input.
“I’ve been wary of trusting people with my music. It’s such a personal thing. I resisted others being involved in the process, but I’m getting better at asking for help especially because I do it solo,” says Bognanno, who has approached Bully as a solo endeavor since her third album “Sugaregg.”
“It’s good to find someone you trust and I learned quickly JT was a Bully fan and had been for a while. I could tell he cared about preserving the authenticity of the project,” she says.
“If it doesn’t feel like me there’s no point in doing it since it serves as such an outlet for me. He just wanted to accentuate the parts he liked and keep the character that was there. He didn’t want to give it a full makeover. He wanted to be a part of it and see how far we could take it.”
So far the singles have gained momentum on SiriusXM. Bully toured with the Pixies this year in addition to its own headlining tour and the “Nashville Scene” crowned her Best Solo Artist earlier this month. But Bognanno doesn’t pay attention to most of the press Bully receives, even if its positive.
“When you’re making a record, it’s your baby for so long. Then when its released, it’s up for everyone else to review and absorb,” she explains. “At the end of every record I have to think that’s all I can do. It’s the best I can do. After that I can’t control it, however it’s received.”
Want to go?
WHEN: 6 p.m. Friday , Oct. 20. Day one of Queen City Jam Sessions’ three-day festival with local bands Alright, Cuzco, and Ancient Cities and Nashville’s Maggie Rose are also playing. Anders Osborne and Leftover Salmon headline Saturday and Sunday nights, respectively.
WHERE: Neighborhood Theatre, 511 E. 36th St., Charlotte.
TICKETS: $25-$40
DETAILS: www.neighborhoodtheatre.com