I Live With Another Single Mom-We're Raising Our Kids in a ‘Mommune'

By Bernie Sinclaire, as told to Newsweek

For years, I had been walking around with what most people thought was a wild idea: I wanted to live with another mom and raise our kids together.

Two years ago, that idea finally became real.

I live in New York City with my best friend Anabelle Gonzalez, and, together, we're raising our three children as a family of five.

I'm the mother of two sons-Marcos, 9, and Nicholas, 4-and Anabelle has a 7‑year‑old daughter, Sophia.

We call what we've built a mommune: part “mom,” part “commune,” and entirely intentional.

Anabelle and I met in graduate school around 2012, where we were both training to be teachers. Like many friendships, ours drifted after we became mothers, even though we lived in the same neighborhood.

By then, I had already been trying-unsuccessfully-to start a mommune for about seven years.

I had floated the idea to different people, often met with hesitation or polite dismissal. When Anabelle said yes, it felt like a small miracle.

For me, a mommune isn't just shared rent. It's a different way of structuring family life-one that centers women and children rather than romantic partnerships. I believe that men, often without meaning to, tend to be centered in households by default.

That is a function of social conditioning, not individual failure. The mommune is about doing something else entirely: decentering men, centering children and thinking of mothering collectively. Not my kid and your kid, but our children.

In daily life, that philosophy shapes everything. We eat meals together. Our kids' fathers are actively involved-my sons' dad is an amazing co‑parent and part of our extended family life. Grandparents on both sides have relationships with all three children.

When we attend family events, we sometimes go separately, sometimes together. The kids don't belong to silos; they belong to a family.

Our apartment runs like most family homes do-morning routines, school drop‑offs, homework, dinner-but with one key difference: there's no default parent. We're constantly adjusting what works best.

At one point, Anabelle took my older son to the bus so I could manage the younger one. When we noticed he missed our morning walks, we rearranged again. Roles aren't fixed. Nothing is rigid.

The idea was never purely financial, although sharing childcare and housing does matter. What I wanted just as much was relief from the invisible labor that crushes so many mothers-the mental load, emotional labor and constant care work that leaves women exhausted and burnt out.

When a mother is overworked, her child doesn't get the best version of her. I didn't want that for my kids. I wanted to be a single mother who could still live a soft, joyful life.

The children didn't know each other before this. Our youngest bonded instantly. My older son needed time to understand why I wasn't living with his dad, despite our strong co‑parenting relationship.

It was hard for him to wrap his head around the idea that you don't need a mom and a dad under one roof. But, if he misses his dad, he can always spend extra time with him. Love doesn't disappear just because people live differently.

Friends and strangers have been mostly enthusiastic. My own family was quieter. There wasn't hostility-just hesitation and a sense of not quite understanding whether we were serious. Anabelle and I moved an entire family of five by ourselves.

But, two years in, I have no regrets.

The biggest difference wasn't financial-it was emotional. I felt lighter, less burned out. People talk about post‑divorce glow‑ups. I had a mommune glow‑up. There was ease, recognition and gratitude for labor that usually goes unseen.

I'm not saying everyone should live this way. I'm saying women deserve more than two options: struggle alone or hope a romantic partner will save you. This is a real, viable path.

We shouldn't be punished for not having-or not wanting-a partner who can run a household the way our children need.

Sharing my story matters to me because this is one of the best things I've ever done.

Bernie Sinclaire, 38, documents life in her mommune on Instagram (@berniesinclaire).

All views expressed in this article are the author’s own.

2026 NEWSWEEK DIGITAL LLC.

This story was originally published May 17, 2026 at 5:00 AM.