Hot, trendy and hip restaurants have their place. But Valentine’s Day (or days, if you’re aiming for a weekend night out) is not one of them.

Save the loud music and buzz for another time. This is the night when you need something for grownups, something quieter and more romantic. You need candles on the table, real table linens and a wine list big enough to land with a thump. You need atmosphere and a special-occasion feel.

How do you define an adult dining experience? We came up with a list of criteria, and asked 10 restaurants with a variety of prices and locations to tell us how they stack up: Aix en Provence, Barrington’s, Bonterra, Carpe Diem, Fahrenheit, the Fig Tree, Fork!, Global, Luca Modern Italian and the Melting Pot. We asked them to describe their noise level and discussed the meaning of “business casual” dress codes. (Slacks for men, dresses for women, no jacket or tie required. And definitely skip the ball caps.)

Now you know where you can get a sharable chocolate dessert. But getting the reservation is still up to you.