Column: Shameful foods I have eaten as a mom

Momminess has made me do some pretty ridiculous things, like carry snail’s shells in my purse and buy a $60 silk Christmas dress for a 2-year-old.

But, it’s the shameful things that I have eaten as a mom that make me look like I have completely abandoned any hope of assimilating normally into society.

Before I rattle off a list of foods I have eaten that would make a billy goat stop and reconsider, let me lay out for you what I think is THE most proper “Mom Lunch” in my mind: kale and quinoa salad with a glass of lemon water and sliced banana.

I have never actually had this for lunch as a mom, but someday I hope to. I’ve pinned this lunch on Pinterest (Pinterest.com/Suzbroughton). I have bought all the ingredients for this lunch, but I have ended up throwing away more kale then I care to admit, and I still can’t quite figure out what quinoa is: rice? pasta? bean? I don’t think anyone really knows.

The shameful things I’ve eaten list. In no particular order:

Oh, I am miles and miles away from the perfect kale-inspired lunch. At least I have the dream – and it looks like some leftover Chinese food in the fridge.

This story was originally published September 12, 2014 at 5:44 PM with the headline " Column: Shameful foods I have eaten as a mom."