Words have power: Use positive affirmations to boost your child’s confidence
At some point in your life, when you were feeling down, you may have been told to just “stay positive!” And you probably thought: that’s certainly easier said than done. Positivity doesn’t always come naturally. In fact, most times we have to make an intentional choice not to let negativity win.
This challenge we face so often as adults is the reason it’s important to start incorporating the building blocks of positivity into kid’s lives at an early age — so they will be able to use them as tools forever.
The building blocks of positivity can also be called positive affirmations. These simple but powerful statements can help kids to shift their mindset and boost their confidence. They focus on developing a positive self-image and resilience as well as recognizing specific strengths and values.
Targeted programs like Second Step, which are used in many schools, integrate these strategies to support social-emotional learning. We asked two experts for their thoughts on the impact of positive affirmations and how parents get started using them.
Why do positive affirmations matter?
According to Tia Kim, Ph.D., Vice President of Education, Research, and Impact at Committee for Children, “Positive affirmations can empower children to tackle life’s challenges with confidence. They help build a positive sense of self and encourage a growth mindset, which is the belief that you can improve through effort and practice.”
Unlike general praise that highlights achievements, positive affirmations cultivate a genuine sense of self-worth and motivation from within. While compliments are nice, they can lead kids to rely on external validation rather than internal.
Katie Wohlford McCracken, a counselor at Fairview Elementary School which uses the Second Step program, adds that positive affirmations help separate the negative voice from the truth. “In moments of self-doubt, it’s useful to ask children what their self-talk sounds like and help them replace negative thoughts with encouraging ones,” she said.
Introducing positive affirmations into daily life
Starting a positive affirmation habit with kids is fairly straightforward and can even be fun. Here are some effective ways to introduce them:
Role modeling: Demonstrate using positive affirmations by talking to yourself out loud in front of your kids during everyday activities. For example, say, “This is hard, but I know I can do it. I can do my best no matter what.”
Proactive affirmations: Anticipate moments of anxiety or doubt and lead with positive affirmations. McCracken suggests saying things like, “Your competition seems exciting and also kind of stressful. Good thing you’ve been practicing and working so hard.”
Daily routines: Integrate affirmations into your regular routine. Start each day with a positive statement during the morning, such as saying, “You are capable and amazing!” to set the tone for a good day.
Reflecting on the day: During dinner or bedtime, reflect on the day’s successes and challenges. McCracken recommends looking back on the day together and thinking about the various difficulties that were overcome, ending the day on a positive note.
Staying consistent despite resistance
Parents might encounter resistance when starting out with this new habit, especially from older kids. McCracken advises, “Just because they are rolling their eyes, doesn’t mean they aren’t listening and buying-in, so be encouraging and affirming, even if they act annoyed by it.”
Internal negative self-talk can often be louder and more accessible than positive affirmations. “Our brains are wired to criticize the self and others,” McCracken explains, “but this can be overcome with routine practice.”
Making sure positive affirmations are effective
To make affirmations as effective and meaningful as possible, parents should use the following tips:
Be specific: Focus on your child’s unique strengths and best qualities. Kim suggests, “Make your affirmations reflect core values and focus on actions that reinforce self-identity.”
Highlight effort: Emphasize the commitment and thoughtfulness that led to achievements. Instead of just praising an A+ grade, commend the effort and planning that made it possible.
Genuine affirmations: Practice your own social-emotional awareness to set the right example. Do your best to stay calm and think positively, so your affirmations will be genuine.
Long-term benefits of positive affirmations
Positive affirmations have lifelong benefits. Research shows that affirmations can improve academic achievement and help children maintain their self-worth even in challenging situations. Kim notes, “Positive self-affirmations have been found to improve academic performance, reduce conduct problems, lessen emotional distress, and decrease drug use among students.”
By consistently practicing these strategies with your kids, you can give them the building blocks they need to develop a strong sense of who they are, gain confidence and persist when things get tough. Start now to set them up for a future supported by resilience and a positive outlook — you’ll be amazed by the difference this simple habit can make.
*This article contains general health information and is intended for educational purposes only. It is not a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always consult a qualified health care provider if you have medical questions and before making any decisions or changes related to your health.
This story was originally published July 9, 2024 at 8:40 PM.
