Riley Howell is getting a Congressional award. His parents are proud — but also angry.
Though it was just made public on Wednesday morning, the parents of Riley Howell have known for awhile that their son would receive the Congressional Medal of Honor Society’s Citizen Honors Award, so they’ve had some time to let it sink in.
Thomas and Natalie Howell say they are of course extremely proud; it’s one of the nation’s highest civilian honors.
They’re also still extremely sad. Nearly 11 months have passed since Riley Howell was killed while thwarting an attack by a student who opened fire in his UNC Charlotte classroom.
But there’s another emotion that keeps bubbling up, too — anger — and his parents feel it especially when they consider those who are being honored alongside Riley on Wednesday, in a quiet ceremony (crowdless due to the coronavirus) consisting of a wreath-laying at Arlington National Cemetery that will be streamed online.
“Keanon Lowe, who disarmed a student with a loaded shotgun at Parkrose High School in Portland, Ore.”
“Christian Garcia, who sprang into action when a gunman opened fire at Santa Fe High School in Texas. Christian did not survive.”
And “Riley Howell of Waynesville, N.C., who shielded students from a gunman at UNC Charlotte. Riley did not survive.”
(Classmate Ellis “Reed” Parlier also died in the attack, and four other students were injured. Since the April 30, 2019, tragedy, Howell has been heralded by friends, family, the UNCC community, the media and authorities — pretty much anyone aware of his actions — as a hero who helped prevent further loss of life.)
Though Thomas Howell often is a rock in interviews about his son, you can hear his voice shake when he starts to talk about this particular subject.
“If you look at the list of the people on there ... shooting issues, gun-violence issues — they dominate the awards,” Howell said.
He’s right: Six individuals were selected for the Congressional Medal of Honor Society’s Citizen Honors, and half were involved in school shootings. Among the 27 finalists, On the original list of 27 finalists for the award, five additional people were being recognized for heroism amid mass shootings.
“I mean, that is the state of our society, and it makes me angry that this is what we’re talking about, that this is the way it is, and that we’re giving awards to these poor kids that are dying trying to live their life. The Medal of Honor is given to military personnel for acts of bravery and heroism in the line of duty — in combat — and that’s essentially what my son had to do in civilian life. That’s not fair. It’s not fair that he was put in that situation.”
Meanwhile, you can’t hear Natalie Henry-Howell’s voice shaking as she shares her feelings about the issue. Though she’s conducted a number of phone and face-to-face interviews in the past, of late she has started answering questions from the media by email — in part because talking about Riley is so painful, but also because she’s decided she much prefers having time to thoroughly think through her responses.
In this case, she wrote in an email on Tuesday, “I felt appreciative that his act of love that day was being recognized for what it was — an act in service of others when he found himself in the extremest of circumstances. ...
“(But) ‘winning’ the award meant losing my son. So although proud of his heroic courage and noteworthy effort to save lives, I feel conflicted about the honor. I am accepting it on behalf of all the people who have also needlessly lost their lives to gun violence, for their shattered families left behind, and for those who are working for better gun-safety legislation.”
A rather welcome postponement
The Howells were informed in early January that Riley had been nominated — multiple times, in fact — for the award, given to just a small handful of individuals each year by the Congressional Medal of Honor Society.
A few weeks later, they learned he was selected as one of the six 2020 recipients. They were asked to keep the news in confidence, but were invited to the planned awards ceremony in Washington, D.C., where living Medal of Honor winners would present the civilian honorees (or their families) with the awards.
That ceremony originally was supposed to take place on Wednesday night, and would have marked Congressional Medal of Honor Day, which is a federal holiday.
However, early this month, well before the coronavirus pandemic had become a national emergency, organizers of the event nixed it due to concerns about the risk to the living Medal of Honor winners who would be presenting (all of whom are in their 70s or older).
So the new plan is for Riley Howell and the other honorees to be recognized at a ceremony exactly one year from now, on Congressional Medal of Honor Day in 2021.
The delay is actually a relief for Thomas Howell — one, he said, because there are obviously much more urgent matters for the world to deal with right now; but two, even 11 months later, it’s not gotten much easier. It’s still a lot, all these things, for the family to deal with emotionally.
Yes, they’re appreciative of people wanting to honor Riley. It’s been especially nice when it’s been something that brought a genuine smile to their faces, maybe even laughter, like when Riley became a small part of the “Star Wars” universe by having a character in a book named after him.
But at the same time, whenever something like this comes up, it’s yet another instance in which they have to acknowledge the loss of their son in a very public way. These things have worn on Natalie so much that she was planning to let her husband attend UNC Charlotte’s Day of Remembrance events in April without her; she just feared it would be too difficult to bear yet another memorial.
“The pain and grief of the loss devours you and chews you raw,” she wrote in an email to the Observer. “I am walking on the edge of this precipice and trying desperately to maintain balance. I try and find reasons to walk on, such as being vigilant about taking care of the people, places and things that Riley loved, and making his sacrifice matter in big and small ways.
“Figuring out ways to assist victims of gun violence through the Riley Howell Foundation helps, as does the abundance of cards and letters of support received from friends and strangers around the world. It reminds me that what Riley did hit people in the heart. And though I feel utterly undone, I take solace in the fact that my son gave his life for the greater good.
“His humanity that shined through that day was — and is — inspiring.”
This story was originally published March 25, 2020 at 10:00 AM.
