Bungling burglar caught on camera pretending to exercise – then ransacking clubhouse

Police are hoping a honky-tonk surveillance video will lead to the identity of a bungling thief who made off with computer monitors, televisions, exercise equipment and then — five days later — a chair.

Police in Columbia, Md., said the video showed a “three act play” called “Burglary at Alister Columbia Apartments.” Vaudevillian piano music plays under the silent video as the burglar is seen going about the bold caper on August 20.

‘Act 1,” called “The Canvas,” shows a man draped in a towel wandering around the clubhouse in shorts and sandals. He walks to one area, then another, then another as he surveys what would later become his loot.

In “Act 2 - The Workout,” the man walks into a gym, takes off his towel, picks up two barbells, and does exactly seven curls before putting the weights back, putting on the towel again and walking away.

In “Act 3 - The Theft,” the man removes weights from the gym, then rips televisions from the walls all over the clubhouse. He’s not especially careful with the equipment. In once case, a spark flashes as he tears the screen from the wall. He also unhooks a Mac computer and carries everything out the door.

But that wasn’t the end of it. Police say he came back five days later for, of all things, a white lounge chair.

The video shows him picking up the chair and heading to the door, were he gets it stuck in the frame. It takes him a few tries to figure out a way to weasel it out the door.

Police are offering a $1,000 reward for information leading to the burglar’s arrest, and say anyone with tips can send them to HCPDCrimeTips@howardcountymd.gov.

People on social media loved the department’s humorous take on the crime — and the police even got a shoutout from a neighboring sheriff, who joked it was worthy of an “academy award for best surveillance video.”