The best kind of gift we can give

The letter is in a large Ziploc bag, tucked in a journal with scattered photos — one year’s worth of memories. Cathy Kendrick wrote the letter to friends and family, most of them in Charlotte, a little more than a year ago. She unfolds and reads from it now. “I am turning 60 on December 1st,” it says. “This is going to be a no party/no gift year. Instead, I would like to do something different...”

She calls it the “The 60th Project,” and she got the idea from a trip last year to Bogota, Colombia, where her niece showed her around a city she’s passionate about. “I would like to spend 60+ minutes with 60 different women in an activity of your choosing,” her letter says. “Show me what you are passionate about.”

This is a story about gifts, about all the forms they take and the one thing the best of them share.

Cathy Kendrick set no rules about how her friends wanted to share their time, other than that she wanted a photo from each activity. If they were unable to get together, Kendrick would write a check for $60 to the non-profit of her friend’s choice.

The responses came immediately, and they came in volume. Friends wanted to run a road race and do zip lining and yoga. An art-loving friend wanted to visit a museum together. Kendrick’s mother, who is 88, wanted Kendrick to meet with a chaplain to plan her mother’s funeral. (She’s still very much alive.)

Some activities were crafty — something Kendrick is not — but she enjoyed making pottery with one friend and candles with another. Some involved service, such as filling Bright Blessings birthday bags for children or walking a therapy dog through a Charlotte assisted living community. Some involved sharing moments, such as attending a granddaughter’s dance performance or hearing a friend read at a Presbyterian church service. More than a few activities included wine.

Kendrick turned down just one, by the way. A friend wanted to jump out of an airplane together. They took their adult sons to Charlotte Motor Speedway instead.

The activities, of course, were only part of what they shared, and as Kendrick worked her way toward 60 she began to notice some things. First, many of the friends were women she’d known through groups, and Kendrick realized she hadn’t ever had the opportunity to spend one-on-one time with them. “I found out stuff about people that I’ve known for years,” she says. “Stuff you don’t talk about on a girls’ weekend.”

Also, many of her women friends were tackling the trials that come with age. They were climbing out from divorce, fighting cancer, supporting family and friends who had their own battles. And they were enduring. “Women are just so tough,” Kendrick says. “They just keep going.”

By the time she hit her 61st birthday this month, Kendrick had reached her goal of 60 activities, and she has a handful more still to do. She’s not only shared what they were passionate about, but she’s seen sides of them she never knew, and they saw the same from her. It’s the best kind of gift we can get on this day and any other. The gift of our time - and ourselves.

This story was originally published December 25, 2019 at 5:00 AM.