We need a theme song for our MLS team
Well, Queen Citizens, it’s official. We’ve been awarded a Major League Soccer franchise. I for one feel like a man who placed a winning bet on a prizefighter who’d nicknamed his fists Hall and Oates. That is to say, pleasantly surprised.
I am pleasantly surprised not because I believe we shouldn’t have won the franchise. Our fair city and its can-do citizens generally achieve whatever we set out to accomplish. I am surprised because I never thought of Charlotte as a scarf-town, and now that’s all going to change.
But we’ll embrace change because that’s what great cities do. Why, I bet we set MLS attendance records in our very first year. One thing we will need, though, is a proper “football chant”. Manchester United has “Glory, Glory Man United” as official team song, so that’s taken. We’ll need our own.
Nothing too complicated, mind you. Remember, we’re going to be singing it on our way to the stadium. If it’s too complex we might get turned around at the intersection of Sharon, Sharon and Sharon and miss kick-off. That would be, as they say in the Premier League, poor form.
Until someone thinks of something better, I say we go with “Soccer Fan,” to be sung to the tune of the Billy Joel singalong classic “Piano Man.” Here are my proposed lyrics:
It’s time for kick-off on a Saturday
Our home match is about to begin
There’s an old man sitting next to me
Asking why is McCaffrey not in
He says, “Son, what the heck is a corner kick?
I heard it so called in the stands
If my learning’s complete they can all use their feet
But just one guy can use his damn hands”
La la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum
Lead us in song, Charlotte soccer fans
Lead us in song tonight
For we’re all in the mood for a victory
And you’ve got us feeling alright
Now John to my left is a friend of mine
A finance guy as all here can see
For he never feels dressed till he’s in a bro-vest
Which he wears about town constantly
He says, “Mike, I believe this is killing me”
As his face goes ashen with dread
“Well I couldn’t explain an offside trap
If you put a gun to my head”
Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum dum
Now Paul is a real estate big-shot
Who smiles as the game starts to end
It is not the sure win that is making him grin
But the scooters heading out to South End
And the waitress is practicing patience
As the businessmen barks at his phone
When we score they embrace under spell of the place
And suddenly feel less alone
Lead us in song, Charlotte soccer fans
Lead us in song tonight
For we’re all in the mood for a victory
And you’ve got us feeling alright
It’s a league-record crowd for a Saturday
And the manager gives us a smile
‘Cause he knows we the fans are the best in the land
Better than Atlanta’s by a mile
And the stadium sounds like a carnival
As that old man by me starts to cheer
Well I know that we’ve won and he’s in on the fun
When he asks “can I buy a scarf here?”
Oh, la la la, di da da
La la, di da da da dum
Lead us in song, Charlotte soccer fans
Lead us in song tonight
For we’re all in the mood for a victory
And you’ve got us feeling alright
Steve Smith Sr. captured Carolina Panthers’ toughness with “ice up, son”, but Charlotte MLS needs its own rally cry. I think I’ve got it.
Scarf up, son. #SoccerFan.