2020 and COVID-19: In the end, there was light

I spent much of 2020 writing about loss.

There was Alice Smith, 96, who couldn’t have visitors because of COVID-19. Before the pandemic, when she knew her hospice social worker was coming to see her in the skilled nursing facility, Alice would put on her favorite red lipstick. No need for lipstick now.

There was the woman I met at the Loaves & Fishes pop-up pantry two days before Thanksgiving. COVID-19 had taken an economic toll on Joanna and her family. She was waiting in line for her first handout, the free turkey and fixings sure to leave a bitter taste. This holiday season, Joanna told me she’s hoping to forget about the world for a little while.

I wrote Barry Sams’ obituary because he died alone. Cancer took him at age 67. He neither married nor had children. Loved ones preceded him in death. Old friends lost track of him. He suffered from bipolar disorder. I acknowledged his passing in writing because he deserved – we all deserve – to be lifted up in death.

This year, I edited a book about growing old. Dr. Chuck Edwards of Charlotte wrote “Much Abides: A Survival Guide for Aging Lives” to remind us that there are still new roads to explore. Our bodies may betray us. Our hearts grieve over loved ones lost. But our spirit can endure, if we let it.

I sat and listened to Sean and Heather Bonner tell me about their son. Sean Jr., a Charlotte Latin School graduate, was a college baseball pitcher. He had a life full of friends. His smile, even if he was hiding something behind it, melted hearts. He took his life in 2018, 15 days before Thanksgiving. He was 20 years old.

I do not write this column to cast a shadow over your holiday. I do not need to remind you that most of us suffered in some way this past year. And it is too obvious a point to encourage you to count your blessings while preparing to ring in the new year (presumably at home, safely). I share this because each of these stories ends with a hopeful footnote.

Alice Smith, the woman who had no need to put on her favorite red lipstick to welcome visitors? Before COVID-19 took her, Alice’s hospice social worker taped a bouquet of flowers to her window with a note that reminded her “the sun’s still shining outside.” Alice smiled.

Joanna and the 110,000 others who were nourished in 2020 by Loaves & Fishes? An army of 4,100 volunteers made that possible.

Barry Sams’ obituary? Funeral director Ken Poe, though he wasn’t handling arrangements, was proud to share it on his website. More than a dozen people, most of them strangers, responded to Barry’s passing, and the legacy he leaves us. “Every human has a story that matters,” one writer posted.

Dr. Edwards’ book about refusing to give in to age? A class at the Southminster retirement community is reading it for tips and inspiration. Surrender be damned.

Sean Bonner Jr.’s suicide? His parents, with the support of their son’s friends, launched the nonprofit Mission 34 (www.mission34.org) to encourage others to reach out for help. “We tell the story,” his father said, “so someone else doesn’t have to go through it. That’s the best we can do right now.”

So in the end, these stories didn’t end in darkness. They ended in the light because a world that can too often be cruel summoned enough love to make it so. May your stories be so.