Funeral director: Publishing a pet obituary alongside humans is profane
The Observer ran an obituary Jan. 5 for Simba Achilles Williams of Lake Wylie, S.C. Simba passed away peacefully at home on Jan. 2, surrounded by loved ones. He was 18 but lived a full life. He loved to explore the outdoors, wrestle with his dad and travel. He lived for 1½ years on St. Croix in the Virgin Islands. Among his survivors is his baby brother, Gabe.
It was beautifully written. As paid obituaries go, it fit right in with the others that grace the pages and website of the newspaper.
Except that Simba is a dog.
When I realized what I was reading, I was appalled.
Yes, as Irish poet Cecil Frances Alexander wrote long ago, the Lord God made all creatures great and small. But I don’t consider that to be permission for creatures’ obits to run alongside human ones in the paper. God knows profanity — treating something sacred with abuse, irreverence or contempt — when He sees it. Running an obituary for a dog beside someone’s mother, father or, God forbid, child, is profane.
I know that not everyone will agree with me. This was representative of the comments readers left at the end of Simba’s obituary: “Sorry for your loss. Pets are clearly members of the family.”
They are. But not in a way that earns them a spot on newspaper pages in the “real” obituaries. As someone who has been in the funeral home business 43 years, — the heartbreak I have witnessed — let me tell you what I believe.
Once free long ago, obits now come at a price. A prospective customer presents to you an obit for their dog, are you going to turn it down and the payment that comes with it?
In the case of the Observer, the answer at least in this case is “no.” The question then becomes this: What will you do when the next grieving dog owner comes along? Or cat owner?
I’ve devoted my life to comforting the bereaved. It’s a business, but it’s also a calling. Obituaries are at the heart of that calling. Each one marks the end of a journey.
The obituary offers the opportunity to share your news with the community, that we might find comfort in the solace of loved ones, friends, neighbors, acquaintances, coworkers, even strangers.
The obituary offers the chance to celebrate a life and capture a legacy in a few hundred words. Here’s why fill in the blank’s time on earth mattered.
Thank you to the Observer for sharing my dissenting opinion. If nothing else, I hope my words remind readers to take the true measure of their life — Why did my time on earth matter? — while there is still time to make it matter.
I’m the “grandfather” of two dogs. I have no quarrel with Simba’s loved ones. If they felt moved to share Simba’s passing in this way, I hope it eased their hurt. How about this for a solution: The Observer creates a separate section for people to pay to mark the death of their dog, cat, snake, turtle, whatever.
But, please. The obituaries are hallowed ground. Leave them be.
Poe is owner of Kenneth W. Poe Funeral and Cremation Service in Charlotte.
This story was originally published January 14, 2022 at 4:30 AM.