An NC pediatrician’s message to parents exhausted by the pandemic

Dear Parents,

For the last three years I have been a general pediatrician, and for the last two years I have hated COVID, hated the news, hated my career sometimes, been called a hero on the front lines, received free Starbucks and donuts and discounts, and watched you do the hardest job in the world.

Today, I’m writing to tell you that you are doing a great job. Just in case you don’t hear this enough (or ever), I’ll say it again: You are doing the hardest job in the world, and you are doing great.

So often I see you in the office, I run late, I torture your kid with a swab, I tell you they have a cold. Again. Even though they had one last week. And the week before that. And the one before that. At checkups, I tell you to offer your kids more veggies, make sure you limit their screen time. Today, I want to tell you something just as important.

It’s OK if your child hates vegetables. Until they are 20 years old. So did I. So did everybody else on the planet.

It’s OK if your child has had entirely too much screen time in the last two years. So did I. So did everybody else on the planet.

It’s OK if you don’t know if its allergies or COVID, or if you should test your child even though they tested negative yesterday. I don’t know either sometimes, and it’s my actual job.

I’m not a parent, but I know a lot of parents, and without a doubt your job is the hardest one in the world, and you are the heroes in this pandemic.

I am blown away by your infinite and underappreciated effort, your never-ending invisible work, and your success at keeping humans alive every day. On a good day, parenting seems arduous, but in the last two years parenting seems close to impossible. And it is my professional opinion that you are doing well.

If you love your kids (even though you want to scream at them), try your best (even though you don’t know what to do), offer veggies (even if you count fries and ketchup as veggies sometimes), and feel terrible about how much screen time your kids get — you are a fantastic parent. Please remind yourself of this. Every day.

Just in case you have doubts (you are a human), know that you are raising good kids, you are the opposite of failing, your kids adore you, it will be OK.

Your child being sick for what may seem like the last year and only wanting carbs and screens is not a reflection of your parenting. It is a reflection of life. You are not wrong for thinking your child is constantly sick — they are. It sucks.

Unless your pediatrician has explicitly told you otherwise, your child does not have an immune deficiency. And you aren’t doing something wrong.

I wish I could make their cough and congestion stop. I wish their sore throat was Strep so I could give you Amoxicillin to make them feel better tomorrow. I wish you didn’t have to pick them up from daycare. Again.

I wish I could give you 5 minutes of quiet. I can’t. But I can tell you that I see you and I see what an amazing job you are doing. You’re doing the hardest job in the world, and you’re doing great. Breathe. Remind yourself life is hard, parenting is harder, and you are incredible. Repeat daily — along with offering the vegetables your kids won’t eat.

This story was originally published July 21, 2022 at 8:44 AM.