Our daughter is transgender. Our faith is strong. But we’re afraid. | Opinion

When our twin boys were born, we joyfully announced their birth with Psalm 139:14, “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are marvelous.” Big sister couldn’t be more excited to welcome the newcomers she called “the brudders.” Our family made sense and felt complete.

But as soon as one of our twins could speak, he told us that he was a girl.

With the encouragement of my family and especially my child, I’m sharing our story publicly because of the wave of bills that North Carolina legislators have recently filed that would devastate transgender and gender diverse people across our state.

A total of nine bills targeting our LGBTQ+ populations have been introduced, seven specifically targeting our transgender youth. Additionally, two bills in particular fly in the face of traditional conservative values promoting parental rights, individual liberty, and limited government. SB 639 and SB 560 would restrict access to well-established, evidence-based gender-affirming healthcare for transgender youth and would impose both civil and professional licensing penalties on the healthcare professionals who provide it.

My husband and I grew up in deeply religious households and conservative communities. As parents, we dedicated and baptized our children. We turned to prayer in sadness and in celebration and taught our children to do the same. We pushed back on our child’s claims. “You are not a girl, you are a boy,” was our consistent reply. Our child longed for Barbies, mermaids, and anything pink. We did not give into his desires.

He especially loved his big sister’s princess dresses. So of course, they had to go. I’ll never forget the day after my husband removed them from our home. I went to hang up clean laundry in my daughter’s closet. When I opened the door, all of her skirts and dresses were missing. Not long after, I found the missing items tucked away in the brothers’ drawers. Our child had found replacements for the princess dresses.

My husband and I had always assumed that we would have so much more influence over the “molding” of our children. Parenting our transgender child has shown us otherwise. It has taught us humility – knee-buckling and messy. And also full of grace.

Our child is a teenager now. Without support, the outlook for LGBTQ+ youth is grim. Fifty six percent of youth reported a previous suicide attempt and 86% reported suicidality. But our child is thriving; blessed by the loving support and care of incredible healthcare providers, school administrators, teachers, and a broader community.

Now our state legislature is again proposing bills that would rob parents of their rights to make medical decisions for their children, penalize healthcare providers by fining and stripping them of their professional licenses for practicing standards of care endorsed by every major medical organization, and give broad license to discriminate against transgender and gender-diverse individuals. Why?

I do not presume to know the full reason. But I know the effect these bills will have on North Carolina’s transgender children, teens, and their families:

More youths considering and succeeding at suicide. More youths engaging in self-harm. More families relocating out of North Carolina.

Each time our legislators propose laws targeting our LGBTQ+ community, they hurt our family and thousands of other families. These bills communicate to everyone that it’s okay to treat members of the LGBTQ+ community differently. It’s okay to discriminate, even against a child.

Instead of damaging legislation, our transgender children, teens, and adults need access to evidence-based support in health and education that is free from government interference and overreach. They need assurance from our lawmakers that they will be protected from discrimination. And they need to know unconditional love.

If you had told me a few years ago that I would be speaking out in favor of LGBTQ+ rights, I would never have believed you.

But I am. I am speaking out because many families across our state cannot. I am speaking out because my child has pleaded with me to do whatever is in my power to oppose these bills. And I am speaking out because all creation is “wonderfully made.”