A man, a worm and a squirrel meet in an NC park. Then genius strikes | Opinion

What do inspiration, clarity of expression and area rodents have in common? More than you might think. National Squirrel Appreciation Day (January 21) is an apt time to reflect on how the humble gray squirrel can inspire both precision in language and motivation in life.

Consider “early bird gets the worm.” For ages, this adage has motivated go-getters to rise early and achieve their dreams. Having recently hovered in a plank position over a bloated earthworm during a rainy workout at sunrise, I say it’s time to update this proverb.

I realize one should hesitate before messing with perfection. Like demonstratively scratching your nose at a live auction, there’s more downside than upside. Yet, we’d have just One Size Fits All and not alsoOne Size Fits Most if caution always carried the day.

While a plump worm surely is a king’s ransom to a ravenous raven, proverbs are for people, not birds, who probably prefer free verse. Plus if you identify with the worm, as Shel Silverstein noted in his wry poem “Early Bird,” then the incentives are completely misaligned:

“Oh, if you’re a bird, be an early bird / And catch the worm for your breakfast plate / If you’re a bird, be an early bird / But if you’re a worm, sleep late.” Who would identify with a lowly worm, you ask? Plenty of people. Recall Norm Peterson from the classic sitcom “Cheers.”

While closing in on his favorite bar stool, Norm succinctly expressed to bartender Sam Malone this put-upon mindset: “It’s a dog-eat-dog world, Sammy, and I’m wearing Milk-Bone underwear.” The world is filled with Norm Petersons, people who feel less predator than prey.

Finally, what’s so mighty about a flighty bird to the earthbound? I think of Greek mythology’s Icarus, who on escape from prison ignored his old man Daedalus’ advice, flew too close to the sun on waxed wings, plunged into the sea and drowned. That’s hardly aspirational.

It’s better to light a candle than curse the darkness – an unobjectionable proverb – so I offer an alternative that came to me after my stomach-churning plank. In Charlotte’s Freedom Park that morn I saw not only a worm, but also a plucky squirrel perched atop a trash can.

Like the more-ballyhooed early bird, the bushy-tailed creature was first to arrive, but not just anywhere. The yeoman squirrel with lunch-pail sensibilities had chosen a spot with great prospects of rodent repast. This commanded my respect: The squirrel was working not only harder, but smarter.

At workout’s end, I saw the same squirrel, only now he was feasting on a half-eaten pizza someone had discarded in the trash the night before. His recon strategy paid off handsomely. The scrappy scavenger must have thought he’d died and gone straight to Squirrel-Valhalla.

I smiled at the thought of him bragging to his mates later that evening in whatever passes for a tavern in the squirrel community: “I swear, boys, half-a-pie, pepperoni and Italian sausage! My family and I will eat for weeks. By the way, how were your frozen acorns?”

That’s when it hit me. For proverbial purposes, squirrel beats bird, and pizza beats worm. It’s time to retire “early bird gets the worm.” My proposal? Early squirrel gets the pizza. We’d be nuts not to consider it.

This story was originally published January 21, 2025 at 5:00 AM with the headline "A man, a worm and a squirrel meet in an NC park. Then genius strikes | Opinion."