One school. Eight suicides. A Charlotte principal asks why

Eight Myers Park High School students have died by suicide since 2021.

Let that number tear your heart out. Then ask yourself: What am I going to do about it? As a friend, am I going to press for answers when I sense a shadow looming over a classmate? As a parent, teacher, coach, clergy, physician, scout leader or neighbor, am I going to confront this recurring tragedy of teenagers taking their lives?

I’m not the one posing the questions. Bob Folk, the principal of Myers Park High School is – for himself and others left confounded by these tragedies.

“I knew every one of those kids,” Folk told me not long after the seventh of those eight suicides. “I’ve been to every memorial service. I’ve talked to every parent. This is not just a school problem. This is a home, family, community challenge.

”The death of every student rocks us to the core, whether it be by accident or disease. Suicide, Folk said, adds a layer of agony. “It’s the not knowing why, the feeling that more can be done.”

Before another word. Those in crisis can call 911, the national Suicide & Crisis Lifeline at 988, or go to the nearest ER.

Angst And Passion

Folk, a 1983 graduate of Myers Park High School, has spent 34 years in CMS. Before becoming his alma mater’s principal in 2022, he led Alexander Graham Middle School next door. Many AG students wind up under his care at Myers Park High. Years later, he runs into many of them around town, proud to have played a role in their journey.

Given his roots, Folk has become a proxy for the Myers Park High community. That includes alumni and their families. Our two kids, now in their 40s, graduated from Myers Park High. Like so many others, our family shares in Folk’s angst, and in his passion to address the pall that suicide has cast over the school.

Under his leadership, Folk has made mental health as high a priority as academics.

A parent-led Mental Health Committee is helping keep this in the forefront. Teachers are trained to look for warning signs – for example a student’s change in affect, becoming withdrawn or grades suddenly declining. Speakers encourage parents and students not just to keep an eye out for worrisome behavior but to address it. Every mental health professional says the same thing: If you see something, say something.

Among other initiatives:

The Wellness Center gives students a place to chill out. As the school’s “Mental Health Matters” website puts it, it offers “a sense of belonging in a large school where finding your place can take time.”

Talk Tuesday includes check-in prompts on Instagram, offering conversation starters that parents and kids can use at home.

With KinderMourn, the Charlotte nonprofit that helps bereaved families, suicide loss support groups have brought together friends and peers of Myers Park High students who have died by suicide to share their loss. Research shows that discussing suicide doesn’t provoke others to think about it. Rather, it offers a platform to talk about it.

NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) Charlotte presented its Ending the Silence program to 200 Myers Park High students. The theme? “Mental health challenges are common, treatable and nothing to be ashamed of,” said NAMI’s Kate Weaver. The challenge? “This conversation can’t just show up after a crisis,” she said.

Social Media, College ‘Rat Race’

Folk doesn’t hide his exasperation at the hurdles that today’s students face, among them:

⦁He calls social media “the greatest evil today” for how it preys on students’ emotions, promotes unreal comparisons with peers, and devalues face-to-face interaction. He’s proud to say that cell phones are banned in Myers Park High instructional classes.

⦁He calls the quest to get into college a “rat race.” When a parent nags a son or daughter to write a better essay, the focus is on the young person’s achievement, not the young person. “We need to encourage students to find their value not in what they do but in who they are as a person,” said Charlotte psychologist Amanda McGough, a suicide prevention specialist working with Myers Park High.

A school requiring the services of a suicide prevention specialist. Chilling, isn’t it?

A Life Of Possibility

Walk onto the Myers Park High campus – among the state’s largest public high school withmore than 3,000 students – and you are taken aback by the energy. By kids hustling to class and chattering over lunch. The fashion choices alone are a sight to behold.

Folk has spent his professional life in this setting. He seems comfortable in this organized tumult, as if it is where he is meant to be. He appreciates the diversity of gifts and uniqueness that each young person brings to campus. He honors each one’s potential, including the ones buckling under the weight of adolescence.

His job, his mission with the community’s help, is to lead these kids toward a life of possibility.

Every one of them.

Charlotte freelancer and former Observer editor and writer Ken Garfield writes often about mental health. Reach him at garfieldken3129@gmail.com