A guide to rationalizing that non-winning Powerball purchase

So you lost in Powerball last night.

I lost, too. Everyone you know lost. This should make you feel better, yet it kind of does the opposite, in a yeah-those-were-crazy-odds sort of way.

But that’s not how you should be thinking today about the money you ble– um, spent on Powerball. It’s better to focus on the value of your purchase. The entertainment value. And other values.

Fantasy sports players are familiar with this calculation. It’s how we explain to our spouses that our league entry fee shouldn’t be subtracted from the winnings we want to keep for ourselves.

So, for your morning-after lottery hangover, a line-item rationalization of the $2 Powerball purchase I made Wednesday:

▪ Workplace value of being perceived as a team player by editor who walked around newsroom soliciting colleagues to join group Powerball ticket purchase: 17 cents.

▪ Buzz from pondering whether I’d finish out the week at work if I won: (2 cents multiplied by 21 times the thought crossed my mind): 42 cents.

▪ Camaraderie of email musings with coworkers about purchases we would make with Powerball winnings: 12 cents.

▪ Momentary fantasy that group could purchase Observer and invest in an expansion of worthy journalism efforts: 23 cents.

▪ Realization that money might be better invested in something safer, like Blockbuster video franchises: minus 22 cents

▪ Swell of righteous certainty that I would avoid post-lottery bankruptcy cliché by only using a reasonable, predetermined dollar amount for splurging: 15 cents.

▪ Black Volvo C70 convertible, on a spring, leafy, drive to our new mountain cottage. On a Wednesday morning. Taking the long way: 58 cents.

▪ Relationship strengthening from agreeing with spouse that of course we would first give a lot away to charity: 35 cents.

▪ Aerobic benefit of quickened pulse at 11:07 p.m. in discovering a full three Powerball tickets out of the 235-ticket group purchase had as many as two matching numbers: 3 cents.

▪ Smug parenting self-satisfaction this morning from discussing with son how fun of big jackpots are tempered by reality that lottery proceeds come on the backs of the poorest among us: 21 cents.

▪ Disappointment that son fell for obvious dodge of explaining wasted ticket purchase: minus 18 cents.

▪ Maybe he was just being nice: plus 14 cents.

There you go. That’s $2.00. One fully rationalized Powerball ticket purchase. (Feel free to adjust values to fit your own purposes, but use carefully. The rationalization calculation is a dangerous tool in the wrong hands.)

Now about the other $8 in tickets I bought…

Peter St. Onge

This story was originally published January 14, 2016 at 9:38 AM with the headline "A guide to rationalizing that non-winning Powerball purchase."