DL Dontari Poe is a new star in Carolina. Here's why he won't forget where he came from

Dontari Poe, the Carolina Panthers' new nose tackle, is 6-foot-3 and well over 300 pounds.

But he giggles softly when he considers that, if not for his prodigious size, nobody would know he's an NFL player.

This is because Poe is low-key, softspoken and earnestly friendly. He prefers to be a part of a group of family or friends rather than the headliner of a crowd. He shakes the hand of everybody he meets. He's a hugger. And he is still closest with the group of friends he made at Wooddale High School in Memphis, Tenn.

He says they keep him honest and humble.

"A bunch of good dudes," he said. "It goes both ways. It's not like I come around and I'm 'a guy in the league,' you know. I'm still the same guy that everybody grew up with. If I mess up, I get called out just like I'd call them out. It goes both ways."

Friendships like that help Poe remember where he came from, and how he got to this point as an elite player in the NFL.

And when he doesn't have his friends close by to keep him even, he will always have his mother, Sandra.

"My mama tells me to (think about where I came from) more," he laughed. "So I don't get to moving too fast."

Poe is a self-described "mama's boy" who owes much of who he is today to Sandra's guiding presence in his life.

"She's the one that I confide in, that I call on," he said. "Pretty much every time I call on her, she has an answer for me. That's one thing you can't get away from - I don't care how much money or fame you have. You have to know how to take care of yourself and you have to have people around you that know how to humble you and help you. She's definitely that person for me."

Vivacious and energetic, Poe says Sandra is quick to smile and laugh - but also quick to pivot, if needed. Poe says she knows exactly who she is. He's proud of that.

That personality kept Poe in line as he grew up, and it's one he has tried to emulate - especially her strength for others and perseverance through hard times.

Poe's father wasn't around. So Sandra worked three jobs to provide for Poe and his two older brothers, Robert and Pierre, and tried to steer them straight in Whitehaven, a part of Memphis that offered plenty of opportunity to veer.

Poe says his brothers also kept him out of trouble.

"Me growing up without a father, they stepped in and took up that role," said Poe. "They showed me the ropes, man. It's much love and respect for those two."

They made guiding Poe a priority, even as they sometimes struggled themselves. Robert fell into step with one of Whitehaven's tougher crowds, and made decisions that sent him down a dangerous path.

"He was just caught up in the streets," said Poe. "Which, pretty much all of us were at that time in that neighborhood. But he got caught up deeper than others, just made a couple choices that he probably would have done differently."

Robert served a seven-year federal prison sentence in Kentucky and Memphis for drug possession and aggravated burglary. He turned that time into a pivotal lesson for Poe, who was barely into his 20s at the time.

"I learned from him," said Poe. "To see him go through what he was going through, he had to fight hard. At that time he wasn't seeing his kids or anything."

While serving his time, Robert missed one of Poe's proudest moments: The 2012 NFL Draft.

It was a hard thing for a brother to miss - among other moments Poe and Robert would have liked to share. It could have fractured the family, but Sandra kept everyone together, Robert included.

"I don't know how she did it," Poe said. "She did it some kind of way. She fought. She was always staying positive. To be honest, I don't know how she did it. Because there were a couple of times when we felt like it was too tough for me, and I was just a brother or a son going through the situation. I wasn't the one with all the responsibility on their shoulders, had to carry the weight of everything like she was. But she had to do what she had to do."

Sandra sat next to Poe as the draft began, and felt anxiety radiate out of him through his specially-tailored new suit. She kept patting his shoulder and arm, and grabbing his hand. She smiled at him, and he felt calm.

Then, when his name was called 11th overall by the Kansas City Chiefs, he looked at her.

He says he'll never forget the way she smiled. It was the look of a mother letting go of some of the weight and responsibility she had carried for so many years. Some of the pain. In that moment, she could simply watch her son achieve his dream and be happy for him.

"She gave me the biggest, tightest hug. And it was all fun and excitement from there," he said.

Poe is expecting a child with his girlfriend, Brittany, in September - the same time his new life as a Carolina Panther officially begins.

Once again, he'll draw on Sandra as a guiding example.

"Strength, perseverance. ...I always tell myself, if I can be half as good of a parent to my child as she was to me, I consider it a success," he said. "Because she did all of that, and more."

This story was originally published April 18, 2018 at 3:20 PM with the headline "DL Dontari Poe is a new star in Carolina. Here's why he won't forget where he came from."