If life imitates video games with terrible graphics, the Carolina Panthers will beat the Denver Broncos in Super Bowl 50 on Feb. 7.
The folks behind “Tecmo Super Bowl” pitted the two teams against each other in a simulation and the result will please Carolina faithful: Panthers 17, Broncos 7.
There is actually some science behind all of this. Despite its crude appearance, the classic game – originally released in 1989 and revived by Nintendo for its cult following last year – has been praised for its depth and its incorporation of player ratings, randomly changing conditions of players and in-game playbook editing.
The Super Bowl simulation, released Monday, opens with Carolina quarterback Cam Newton hitting Ted Ginn Jr. for an 80-yard touchdown pass.
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You’ll have to watch for yourself to find out how the rest plays out (if you can stand the eardrum-offending “music”). Oh, and be sure to stick around for the halftime entertainment courtesy of “The Mighty Bombjack Show,” which... I mean, I don’t even know how to describe what it is they’re doing out there on the field.
In related news, the real-live-actual Panthers opened as 3.5- to 4.5-point favorites over the Broncos, depending on the sports book.
But as I always like to remind people, even the best prognosticators in the universe are just that: prognosticators. No one will know whether or not the Panthers will be crowned Super Bowl 50 champions until sometime in the evening on Feb. 7.