Countdown to College: Revisiting Admissions Decisions

The last two weeks have been extremely stressful for two students I know. It wasn’t just AP exams and prom preparations, it was bigger than that.

Both students received after-hours telephone calls from colleges where they had been wait-listed. Both colleges congratulated them on being pulled from the wait-list and being offered a spot in the freshman class. Sounds exciting, but in both cases the colleges wanted an answer almost immediately.

One of my students hadn’t even visited the college and was being asked to decide within 24 hours. She couldn’t arrange a visit because she was in the middle of exams. No college counselor in good conscience would recommend that a student commit to a college under pressure, especially one she hasn’t had the opportunity to visit, but she felt it was a good fit and said “yes.”

For another student, an entirely new round of revisiting, not in the physical sense, began after the initial news of being accepted died down.

Rachel Goode, a senior at Ardrey Kell High School had dreamed of attending the University of Virginia (UVA) for the last two years. She visited, she researched, she spent a lot of time on her essays and she kept her fingers crossed. She’s been a stellar athlete, a top student and she had shining extracurriculars and great test scores. Everyone felt UVA was a great fit for her. But she was wait-listed and had to deposit elsewhere.

I explained it to Rachel like this. “You fell in love with your dream school, you were wait-listed and everyone told you to fall in love with another school where you were accepted. You did just that. Then the dream school calls you and says, “Whoops, we decided we really do love you too, and sorry for the pressure, but we need to know if you’re coming, now!

“But wait, you’re in love with the school where you deposited because you were level-headed and responsible and you’ve told everybody that’s where you’re going. You’re surprised that you’re finding it hard to fall out-of-love with the college you selected. It’s a dilemma. How do you make yourself fall out-of-love with the school that has always wanted you and then fall back in love with the one who has treated you not-quite-so-nicely?” Herein lies the stress.

On May 1, Rachel chose between Wake Forest, UNC Chapel Hill and the University of Georgia. She revisited each of them and felt the most at home at Georgia. She kept saying “My head is telling me to go to Chapel Hill, but my heart is telling me to go to Georgia.” She chose Georgia.

And then came the phone call from UVA. Her parents and I thought it would be a simple decision; after all, your dream school wants you. But, Rachel felt invested in her decision to attend Georgia.

It took her a little time but then she texted me: “I think I just decided...Why would I choose anything besides my dream school? Plus UVA is a challenge and a risk that I’m willing to take. Dreams really do come true.” Go Cavaliers!

This story was originally published May 18, 2015 at 6:49 AM with the headline "Countdown to College: Revisiting Admissions Decisions."