Now is the time for white people to be vocally anti-racist, in Charlotte and beyond

Editor’s note: Ahmaud Arbery was killed for being Black while jogging in Georgia. Breonna Taylor was killed for being Black while laying in bed in her Louisville apartment. Christian Cooper had the police called on him for birding while Black and asking a white woman to simply follow the rules. George Floyd was killed in a Minneapolis street for being Black and holding an allegedly fake $20 bill.

These are only some of the most recent in a long line of brutal crimes against Black Americans. It’s time for white people to talk about racism — and not just police brutality and other violent crimes, but also microaggressions and white privilege. There’s a meme floating around that states: “It is not enough to be quietly non-racist, now is the time to be vocally anti-racist.”

Hi, I’m Kymm, and I’m a recovered racist.

I’ve seen several Black-American friends posting about how more non-black people need to speak out against systemic racism in this country, and I’m here in Charlotte, ready to answer the call. I will do my best, but only with pure honesty.

I can’t personally speak to the Black experience. That would be degrading, despite the compassion I would exude.

What I can admit is that although am white, I never considered myself privileged.

It took a while to understand this privilege I automatically inherited didn’t mean that I was necessarily wealthy, but it meant people weren’t suspicious of me when I was walking down the street or shopping in a store. It meant I likely wouldn’t be imprisoned or harassed by police for doing normal activities. It meant that I didn’t have to live in fear.

It is a privilege to feel free and now, I get that.

I was raised as a racist

Truth is, I was raised as a racist. My grandmother called the neighborhood kids “colored” and even though I went to an unsegregated school, the divide was very wide. I believe both races were taught to fear and hate one another.

I never had a Black friend or anyone of another race in my home. The message that was instilled in me was loud and clear, I was superior to Black people and my life had more value than theirs.

Sadly, it was a belief system held by so many in the South that I never thought to question it.

A move to Los Angeles changed everything

Then I moved to Los Angeles, where white people were the minority. It was a culture shock beyond anything that I can describe. I’ll never forget going into my first job interview for an up and coming digital movie company that would eventually become a Fortune 500 company. The person conducting my interview was a Black man. I was surprised to say the least, because based on what I had been taught, Black people didn’t hold management positions at companies.

Here I was, a poor Southern girl whose only experience was packing cardboard boxes in a factory, which is exactly what this job would be. He had never hired a female before. I guess this was a new experience for both of us. But he gave me a chance. He saw something in me and hired me immediately. From that experience, I was promoted five more times and eventually became an executive of the company. My point is, if that black man had not given me a chance, I would never have the career I have today.

Los Angeles also introduced me to my best friend. I adore her, she is the most amazing human being. She was raised in Long Island, New York, and when it came to race and racism, she wasn’t taught the same things that I was. She was my soul sister, but it wasn’t long before she realized that I was racist. I’ll never forget the day she looked at me, with tears running down her face, and said, “I don’t know how I can continue to love you, when this is who you are.”

That hit hard, because I admired her opinion so much. That gut punch was the push I needed to wake up and realize that I wasn’t better than anyone else because I was white. It took someone I respected and cared for confronting me with my ugly truth, for me to see it for what it really was. I had been programmed to hate and fear Black people.

It can be done

It took years of education, open-mindedness, listening and developing relationships with people of all races to undo the years of skewed thinking I had developed. I reprogrammed my mind.

And that’s what I want everyone to hear. It can be done, I’m living proof of it.

I’m certainly not proud of my past, but I’m also not going to sit back and be passive. It’s time that we as white people speak up about racism and start being honest, not only with ourselves but with one another. Otherwise, we’re never going to get to the root of the problem.

Kymm McLean lives in Charlotte, North Carolina.

This story was originally published May 29, 2020 at 3:28 PM.