More time at home, less time with peers. How this NoDa family balances virtual school
Kati Mayo is a wife and a mother to two children, a high school sophomore and a fifth grader. Mayo and her husband are fortunate to have continued to work — with some furloughed weeks.
This upcoming school year, Mayo and her husband had planned for both of their children to participate in CMS’ Plan B Plus learning plan, with some in-person days in August. Since that’s been adjusted districtwide to Plan C, they will be attending their respective schools virtually.
Navigating middle- and high-school virtual learning
Mayo said her daughter took to the remote learning well, but her 10-year-old son had more challenges.
“We realized that he needed the guidance of a family member most of the time to keep him on track. In hindsight, this shouldn’t have been a surprise but it was difficult to orchestrate while we were all trying to finish our own work during the day. Eventually we took turns with him and made up for our lost work time on the weekends or at night. There were many tears and frustration,” Mayo said.
Mayo said that while she’s heard of other families hiring tutors or organizing “pod” learning for their children, she and her husband have not done either.
“I truly want to see what the first few weeks of school are like before I make any decisions,” Mayo said. “I do expect that both my husband and I will have to try to stay flexible with our schedules when and if we can,” Mayo said.
One of the things Mayo struggles with most is the mental well-being of her children, especially her teenage daughter, who has been socially isolated during a time when she would normally be exploring her independence and spending more time with her peers.
“I’m not sure how to make up for that as her mother, and I’m still working on that daily,” Mayo said.
She also worries about her son and his lack of socialization with his peers. While he’s been able to connect with school friends through Xbox games, that requires time limits.
“We have become admittedly more and more lenient with him spending time with one or two neighborhood friends in person. However, I’m constantly concerned about the balance of his safety vs. time spent with playing with other people,” Mayo said.
Capturing memories — both for her family and others
Mayo is an instructor and the artistic coordinator for Charlotte Ballet Academy, where her daughter dances in the advanced level. The family living room has become a makeshift ballet studio with a barre, flooring and mirror. Mayo finds that it’s been a challenge to stay out of each other’s way, and they often have to alternate Zoom schedules in order to teach and take classes while at home.
“I can’t remember a summer in recent history when we have spent so much time together as a family,” Mayo said. “In some ways, I cherish this so much, while I also realize that there have been days when each of us has needed a break from one another.”
“I can best describe this time for my family as a rollercoaster,” Mayo said. “We have had so many unexpected fun days and a number of crushing disappointments. As a mom, I try my best to focus one day at a time so that I don’t become overwhelmed with the uncertainty of the future. I try to remember the way I respond to setbacks will shape how my children experience them.”
Mayo also started the NoDa Front Steps Project, an idea she borrowed from Cara Soulia, a professional photographer in Boston. Soulia started photographing families on their front porches in early March while most of the country was under the stay-at-home order.
“I saw some of her posts on Instagram, and they instantly gave me a sense of comfort and connection. I figured it would be something that my NoDa neighborhood might really enjoy. So although I’m not a professional photographer, I decided to start my own version with a couple of willing neighbors.”
More tough decisions outside of schooling
This year, Mayo had to make the painful decision not to go and see grandparents, siblings, cousins and friends in Massachusetts due to travel restrictions and health concerns.
“It weighs on me daily how much I miss my mom, dad and sister, and how I’m just not certain when we’ll be allowed to make this trip to see them in the future,” Mayo said.
Mayo has tried to make up for missed family visits with time on South Carolina’s Folly Beach, which they’d never visited before this summer.
“In the end, I hope the choices I’m making are the best for my family,” she said. “I’m also hopeful that we’ll look back on this time years from now and remember it with some fondness and recognize how much we grew closer as a family due to the challenges set before us.”
CharlotteFive talked to families in Charlotte-area schools navigating the pandemic to understand how the virus has changed their school decisions, their routines and their households. This article is part of that series.
