He fell apart crying: ‘I don’t know why I’m upset.’ Helping children navigate COVID-19
When COVID-19 first shut down schools, Shelley Stockton immediately planned to do “mommy homeschool” for her two children, as the school didn’t have any materials for about two weeks after Charlotte-Mecklenburg Schools initially shut down.
“One of the first things we did was a lesson on the coronavirus. I read a couple of things online. I have a journalism background, so I did a lot of research on the virus and did a couple of activities with the kids,” she said.
Stockton had her children draw the coronavirus. She’d talk to them about social distancing and how they could protect themselves while COVID-19 is still spreading.
“They would raise their hands and answer, which they absolutely loved doing. They were really engaged,” Stockton said. “They’ve just been incredibly resilient, and that’s made it a lot easier.”
However, the Stockton family has experienced a few difficult moments. The kids have only FaceTimed or had socially distanced visits with friends.
Her 7-year-old son had a meltdown one morning.
“He was just fussing and I asked what was going on. He just kind of fell apart crying, and he was like, ‘I don’t know why I’m upset.’ And I was like ‘You know, that’s OK, you don’t have to have a reason. It’s a weird time right now,” Stockton said. “So we’ve definitely had moments like that, and it’s been hard because there’s so little. And this is so big, and the fact that they’re comprehending it at all is incredible. That’s been the hardest part of the parenting.”
A small risk for socialization
Once Stockton learned CMS was doing Plan B+ remote, she decided to send her son. There was no guarantee he would have a teacher at his school if they’d chosen the all-virtual option, and it was important to the family to keep that sense of community.
“The socialization aspect has been the hardest part,” Stockton said.
So, Stockton looked at it through the lens of the benefits outweighing the risk.
“[Our son] is very away about how important it is to wear his mask and not to get too close to anyone, so we felt OK with him going in person for the two-week time period.”
Then, CMS reverted to a fully remote classroom. The Stocktons’ daughter is home as well, as her preschool was not requiring masks for the students.
“So we’re all home. It’s a lot. My daughter watches a lot more TV than I would like because I’m busy helping my son with virtual school,” Stockton said.
Her husband helps with math, and she helps with the rest. They don’t have any other family in Charlotte, so she has her daughter FaceTime with her parents in Florida once a week, where they read stories to her.
“Our school has been amazing, but there’s no real way for parents to be completely hands-off for a second-grader. There are days the online learning portal glitches, and we have to try the web version instead of the app, and vice versa. There’s no way a 7-year-old knows how to troubleshoot issues like that,” Stockton said.
She said some days are exhausting. Others are seamless. And Stockton isn’t the only one going through this — families across Charlotte are balancing school, work and difficult decisions.
“I will say, we’re very lucky, though. My kids have become each other’s best friends during all of this, and my daughter will sit in on the science and social studies lessons with my son. Sometimes I’ll have him read aloud to her.”
“I think one of the most amazing things that has come out of this is that they’ve become much more independent. Their resiliency is just mind blowing, and getting to see that has been really remarkable,” Stockton said.
Now, CMS is allowing kids to return to school, but the Stocktons felt uneasy about the move.
“I’m honestly more reluctant now,” Stockton said. “It’ll be flu season, right before the holidays. There’s a lot to consider. I’ve been in touch with our school’s principal, and she’s been amazing sharing what they currently know and what they’re planning to do. However, my husband and I have agreed if we don’t feel comfortable, he won’t go.
“I think that’s the biggest thing for everyone to remember in all of this. You have to do what works for your family, period.
For more on Shelley Stockton:
Day 1: ‘Everything just shut down.’ Immunocompromised mother of two navigates COVID-19.
Day 2: ‘I wish people had been more cautious.’ A decision to stay home amid COVID, even now.
This story was originally published October 27, 2020 at 9:34 AM.
