Therapy in a tweet — in Charlotte, social media helps some cope with 2020.
The year 2020 has brought a seemingly endless barrage of events that have shaken the collective “us” to our core. Who remembers the fires and the koalas in Australia in January? Or how we thought the death of Kobe Bryant would be the most tragic thing to happen in 2020?
Those moments were just the beginning of what has felt like a never-ending year of loss, fear and anxiety. As the year began to unfold, rumblings of something called the coronavirus began to be heard. Little did we know how loud those rumblings would eventually become.
The COVID-19 pandemic shuttered businesses, slowed the economy and created a sense of isolation as the world began to stay inside. While we were quarantined inside our homes, the death of George Floyd propelled our nation into a social justice movement brought on by racial unrest. Protests soon followed as much of the nation anxiously watched.
It’s safe to say that 2020 has been exhausting and has taken a toll on many physically, emotionally and mentally.
“More than a third of Americans reported having symptoms of anxiety or depression in July, according to an online survey done by the U.S. Census Bureau and the National Center for Health Statistics,” a Charlotte Observer article stated.
Venus Kennedy, a licensed clinical mental health counselor and owner of Charlotte Women’s Counseling, said she has seen more clients experiencing an increase in mental health symptoms relating to anxiety and depression. “Many people are living in fear from the current pandemic and the political climate … fear increases anxiety and depression, and puts us in survival mode.”
This is where social media comes in.
With anxiety and depression on the rise during the COVID-19 pandemic, many are turning to social media to vocalize their issues, seek recommendations for healthcare providers and to share stories and offer hope. “Having a strong social network is associated with positive mental health and well-being,” states a recent study from the Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health.
“I do see a positive shift in people getting support” on social media, said Kennedy, who has seen a large percentage of referrals come from social media posts, especially from mom groups on Facebook. “Most importantly, I do see mental health being normalized.”
Your words may help someone else
Sharing is a way to break down stigmas and to feel a connection with others, Kennedy said. Your post may even help others.
“If a mom is sharing her fears and her struggles and another mother who is feeling like she is a failure reads the post, then she realizes she is not alone. She stops shaming herself and this helps her cope, she gains a perspective she didn’t have previously and learns she isn’t alone.
“Not only is the person who made the post directly benefiting, but others who are in the group observing will also see the post and reach out. These types of posts often serve the members of the group long after the initial post.”
Kennedy has taken her own advice. In an October post on Facebook, she wrote: “Yes, even as a therapist, I struggle with motherhood. I have to often put myself last, had poor boundaries, didn’t reach out for help and — let’s be real — I have not been exercising at all.”
At the beginning of quarantine, Kennedy used social media as a place to find emotional support and encouragement.
“Social media stood to remind me that I was not alone, in a moment I felt very isolated. I am noticing many other women are doing the same. Especially as the juggle to balance work, kids and virtual school has increased the demand for us to focus our attention on others has increased exponentially. Alternatively, offering support to strangers or social connections can be rewarding in that it takes the focus off ourselves, yet we still see our own issue in another person. There’s a kind of healing that happens in that dynamic, too. “
Experiencing 2020 as a Black person
Asha Ellison, a marketing and communications professional and consultant, recognizes that 2020 has been a wild ride that started with “so much promise,” but she focuses on doing the best she can.
“Each day, I pep talk myself and, honestly, some days are better than others,” Ellison said. “2020 is bizarre in the sense that we are expected to keep showing up for our family, friends, jobs and ourselves like there’s not an entire pandemic and world of unrest happening around us. Those who work in communications are among those who haven’t caught a break, and it’s been exhausting.
“Experiencing the events of this year as a Black person in America has been even harder on me and has made me hyper-aware of my existence in this world and the power structures, institutions and people that generally don’t care about or value my life — or others who look like me — and that’s been one of the hardest things.”
Ellison has been honest on Twitter about her experiences with counseling and how she has coped with and fought against the feeling of isolation during COVID-19.
“Although I’ve been enduring the pandemic mostly alone, it’s been great to feel connected and find community through social media and increased intentional communication with loved ones. That is what is keeping me grounded. So, am I doing well? Not really. But I’m here. I’m present.”
How does sharing help?
Ellison, who has a masters in mental health counseling, understands that speaking up and speaking out may be scary at times — but it can be beneficial to many.
In a September post on Twitter, Ellison encouraged her audience to “never be ashamed to seek help ... because, sometimes, all you need is someone neutral who can help you make sense of what’s happening in your mind.”
“I sometimes wonder if there is ever a ‘right platform’ to speak about my personal issues or thoughts, but one of the most powerful tools we have to reach and inspire others is our own stories. Why not Twitter? Why not Facebook? Why not Instagram? There are other people who need to hear or see your testimony because it could encourage them to seek help or to not feel alone in their thoughts or experiences,” Ellison said.
“And I’ve found community, resources and a lot of encouragement from others who’ve posted about their experiences as well. Sharing my story is something that has grown in me over the years, though — it’s not easy being vulnerable. It’s been a blessing to know that I’m supported and that I’m not all alone in my frustrated, exhausted and frightened feelings. Receiving positive responses feels like going to group therapy … as cliché as it sounds, we truly are all in this together.”
‘I have never been shy about my mental health issues’
Queen City Nerve publisher Justin LaFrancois has been vocal on social media about his “long and difficult” mental health struggles. Focusing on his business and keeping it stable and growing has been a positive aspect of 2020 for him.
“I have had a lot of space to grow this year, and that has had a profound positive impact on using my anger productively and my own inward perspective,” LaFrancois said.
“I have never been shy about my mental health issues. When I was younger and would speak on the matter, it was totally taboo. People look down on you for it and distance themselves physically and emotionally when they identify someone struggling.”
There is strength in numbers, LaFrancois said.
In September, LaFrancois posted on Facebook about his own experience with suicidal thoughts during Suicide Prevention Month. The responses were ones of positivity and similar experiences, and there were plenty of them — that one post received over 350 reactions, 50+ comments and 8 shares.
“I have always known that commonality is a cure for situations where you feel the most alone. When I share my stories, either in extreme detail or just as a brush over, I know that I am reaching people that have felt, or do feel, the same way that I felt at one point. People reach out to me, telling me that just the opportunity to know that someone identifies with them on such a deep level is worth an extra day.
“Sharing is caring, and I care about everyone that is an invisible fight with themselves. The stigmas surrounding mental health can be broken down by simply showing that so many people in our communities experience the same internal struggles — the best way to do that is by sharing your stories.”
