Faced with grief and health challenges, a family is boosted by holiday donors
It’s been a hard few years for Tuwand Fluker-Grier and her family. She’s had to become an expert at doing what so many mothers do when there’s sadness at home: swallow her own pain to make life better for her kids.
Fluker-Grier’s brother died of sickle cell anemia in August 2017, leaving her and her husband to care for his young son and daughter in addition to their own blended family of five children.
Fluker-Grier also struggles with sickle cell anemia that causes her daily pain and sometimes lands her in the hospital for days at a time. Her husband, Mike, works as a barber, and money is tight with five kids still in elementary and high school. (Two have left home: one attends Lenoir-Rhyne University, and another is 23 years old and living on her own.)
But Fluker-Grier is determined to stay strong so she can give all of her kids the type of childhood they’ll look back on and smile.
“I worry about them more than anything,” Fluker-Grier says. “My major concern is being alive for them.”
Three of the children in her house, 7-year-old McKenzie, 10-year-old MiCayla and 10-year-old Rashawn, are among about 7,500 kids registered to receive toys and clothes through the Salvation Army’s Christmas program, which matches children in need with anonymous donors who buy the gifts. Some 1,300 senior citizens will also receive gifts this Christmas.
In cases where donors don’t step up, Charlotte Observer readers cover the expense by giving to the Empty Stocking Fund. Money raised by last year’s Empty Stocking Fund allowed the Salvation Army to purchase 11,541 toys and 590 gifts for low-income seniors.
“This gives me a peace, that I can actually give them something and I don’t have to be so pressed financially” during Christmas, Fluker-Grier said. “They need clothes and shoes more than anything, but to be able to give them nonsense gifts — things they would want to play outdoors with — is great.”
Looking on the bright side
Despite her own health challenges, Fluker-Grier works hard to help all of the children in her family adjust to life without her brother, but especially her nephew, 10-year-old Rashawn, and her niece, 14-year-old Jayla.
“My brother, when he was here, no matter how much pain he was in, he always smiled through the pain,” she said. “That’s what I try to show them.”
The first Christmas after her brother passed away, Fluker-Grier told her niece and nephew that the wrapped gifts under the tree were from their dad.
Last Christmas was especially hard, she says, because they knew no gifts from dad were left.
“We didn’t have a little bit of his presence there,” she said.
Christmas will be “like a parade” this year. Fluker-Grier holds tight to her mother’s tradition of getting all the girls in the house together to cook on Christmas Eve. They make macaroni and cheese, green beans and potatoes, sweet potato pie, banana pudding and punchbowl cake.
On Christmas morning, the kids wake up early in their East Charlotte home to open their presents.
McKenzie is asking Santa for arts and crafts supplies, toys she can play with outside and a new bike. Rashawn wants a new basketball and Beyblades toys. MiCayla loves dolls and arts and crafts.
Later in the day, they’ll watch Christmas movies while Fluker-Grier deep fries Cornish hens and they’ll open stockings right before dinner.
“We try to look on the bright side of everything,” Fluker-Grier said, “because we still have so much.”
How to donate
To donate to the Empty Stocking Fund online: EmptyStockingFundCLT.org.
To donate by mail, send checks to: The Salvation Army of Greater Charlotte, P.O. Box 31128, Charlotte, NC 28231. Make checks payable to The Salvation Army of Greater Charlotte and write “Empty Stocking Fund” in the memo line.
Questions concerning your donation? Call 704-716-2769.
We’ll publish all donors’ names.