What do dads really want for Father’s Day? I interviewed mine to get an honest answer
At the heart of good journalism is getting straight to the source of the information you need and asking the tough questions.
So naturally, when putting together The Charlotte Observer’s Father’s Day gift guide, I had to put in the work to land a critical interview with the most experienced recipient of Father’s Day gifts I know: my dad, Jasper Ramsey, a father of two for decades and now also a father-in-law and grandfather.
Thankfully after prolonged negotiations (a two-minute chat tacked onto a phone call about NCAA baseball regional seeding), I landed the whale (Pulitzer committee, I’m sure you’ve got my number on file).
The interview started off strong, with neither of us able to remember any of the Father’s Day gifts I’ve given him over the course of 26 years. Just what you want to get a conversation going between two inherently anxious people.
Eventually, I was able to recall last year’s gift: a copy of Paul McCartney’s “The Lyrics.”
“Yeah, why don’t we go with that because that was great, and I can explain to you why that was great,” Dad said. “Because that really was something that I’ve really enjoyed. It’s something that you know, it will be something I can enjoy forever also. It’s not like a fiction book where you read it once then it’s done. And also too, while it was the perfect gift for me, I was completely surprised and had no idea it was coming.”
Gift-giving changing over time
My next zinger was an either/or question: Which is better, the little trinkets we kids made when we were little, or the more substantive gifts we’re capable of now that we’re adults?
“It’s very gratifying to me that you guys know me well and took the time to think about me,” he said. “But at the same time, when you were a little kid, you know, it’s just cool seeing you guys so excited about it. I guess that I would have to go with when you’re a little kid, and you guys were so excited about it. But if you can quote me, you know, fairly accurately, it’s 50.1% to 49.9%.”
The charm of a homemade gift also applies to Father’s Day gifts from the grandkids, Dad added.
“With the little ones, I’m more interested in, is it something that they would enjoy? You know, did they get a kick out of giving it?” he said.
An experience together — we used our plans to go to a minor league baseball game this year, for example — can also be an especially meaningful gift.
“I think it’s every bit as good as something tangible, especially as you guys get older and we’re not around each other every day,” he said. “Something like a (Myrtle Beach Pelicans) game where it brings back such memories because we’ve been doing it since you were a little kid. It brings back all those memories. It’s incredibly special.”
Getting to the heart of the matter
From there, I went rapid fire, asking for honest opinions on some of the most common Father’s Day gifts:
A tie: “The main thing is that the child is happy, but generally, I wish you’d just given me a hug and a card, maybe taken me out for an ice cream, and let me pick out my own ties.”
Framed family photo: “Those are really special, especially now with you guys up and grown. Family photos are great.”
Gift cards: “Absolutely love gift cards. Some people are probably like, ‘Well, gee, they couldn’t think of anything better?’ But I don’t feel that way at all. Absolutely love it. I’ve often told you guys when I go out and spend it on something, it’s like I get two presents. I get the card which I appreciate, and I get to go out and pick something out. I feel like it’s an extra gift.”
So what was the through line in every answer during our interview? Whether it’s something big or small or intangible, the cliche that it’s the thought that counts rings true when picking out a Father’s Day gift.
“My goal for Father’s Day has always been for you guys to be you and enjoy it. There’s no pressure there,” Dad said. “And sometimes it’s deeply moving when you get something and can say, ‘Hey, they were paying attention.’”
This story was originally published June 12, 2023 at 6:00 AM.
