Got New Year’s resolutions or life changes in 2022? Here’s what two experts recommend.
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Got New Year’s resolutions or life changes in 2022? Here’s what two experts recommend.
As we enter our third pandemic winter, millions of Americans have walked away from their jobs, and conversations around the holiday table remain more perilous than a raw ham.
Seems like a perfect time to draw the shades, snuggle into the routines at home and work like your favorite pair of yoga pants, and forget about New Year’s resolutions for 2022.
Or maybe not.
In fact, the third year of COVID hibernation may be the perfect time to take on a self-help project, whether it’s a new career, a new relationship or a new you.
“The pandemic has been about hunkering down,” says Debbie Gregor, a Charlotte psycho-therapist. “But it has also caused a lot of people to become more self-reflective, to look at what’s working and what’s really not.”
According to Gregor, the slower pace of life has placed many of us in a stronger position to make an essential decision: “What’s truly important and how do you want to be living?”
For example, a study by Fidelity Investments, as reported by CNBC, found people who made New Year’s resolutions at the start of 2021 are more optimistic about the future than people who didn’t.
More than 8 in 10 Americans said the pandemic has helped them stop worrying about what they cannot control and instead focus on more attainable goals. According to the survey, 71% of respondents say they followed through with their resolutions compared to 58% in 2020.
Nancy Nicholson, a Charlotte yoga teacher and integrative health coach, says the presence of the coronavirus should not necessarily disrupt plans for personal and professional growth.
“We’re all creatures of habit, and making significant changes is hard,” she says. “But life is about change. We can either move or we can be stuck and be the same people we’ve always been. I want to always grow and be a better and healthier person.”
That may be as simple as a healthier lifestyle, whether it’s regular exercise, a new eating regimen and honest inventory of the role alcohol and food play across our lives. Maybe it’s a simmering issue with a partner that needs to be addressed. Or maybe it is setting off on a new career more aligned with personal values than a big paycheck.
Whatever the resolutions, here are some thoughts to keep in mind.
Ignore the calendar. Take time to choose a resolution
Don’t rush into your resolutions just to start them on New Year’s Day. Instead, choose well. Deciding on Dec. 31 to drop 15 pounds is an easy and quantifiable goal, Gregor says. But it may be overlooking a broader issue. Her advice: Take a deeper breath. Wait it out.
If there’s some discomfort with some part of your life, sit with those feelings a little longer until the problem reveals itself and right solution becomes clear.
“Slow down enough until you know what’s important to you and how you want to be living,” she says. “Make friends with uncertainty and fear.”
Nicholson adds: “One of the questions I always ask is what difference will it make?”
Losing 10 pounds may be more measurable, she says, but finding more time in the day for relaxation and reflection — while less quantifiable — “could impact you in so many more ways.”
Change takes work. Get some help.
Nicholson says research now shows that it takes three months to put new living patterns in place. Don’t try to do it alone. Journal or rely on a trusted friend or a lifestyle coach to offer feedback and guidance.
“One of the nice things about coaching is you have some accountability, and a lot of people will respond to that,” Nicholson says. “They’re more likely to do what they say they want to do if they have to report to someone and if they’re paying for it.”
According to Gregor, real change takes effort but does not have to be hard. Too often, she says, resolutions fail because they are external — “what the world is telling me to do” — instead of internally aligned with a person’s values and integrity.
Often, she says, successful change comes from a balance of being ready for something new and also willing to do the work.
“There’s a distinct difference between readiness and willingness,” Gregor says. “If you’re ready to lose 10 pounds and you’re not willing to do what it takes, than the real change is not going to happen.”
Be prepared: Your resolution affects others
This one’s tricky. What important changes you make are likely to disrupt the relationships you have at work, at home and friends.
A decision to cut back on drinking may cost you friendships with more party-oriented acquaintances. A goal to build in more time for exercise or private time at the end of the day may impact a boss who has grown accustomed to your 10-hour work day. Similarly, significant changes by one member of the family won’t go unnoticed by husbands, wives and children.
“It can stir things up,” Nicholson says. “Or it can be very positive and we grow from each other’s growth.”
Gregor agrees. Alterations to the status quo can make the people around us uncomfortable at first, she says. If that happens, you deal with it later. Don’t use that discomfort as an excuse for standing put.
“In stable relationships, the changes might lead to inconveniences. A partner may not like the changes but they adapt,” she says. “Sometimes, you making a change exposes underlying issues in the foundation of the relationship that need to be addressed.”
